Artist Residency Day 4:

The last full day of the residency dawned and I felt drawn to read Rupi Kaur's book "Milk and Honey." It's filled with beautiful poems that turn my heart more tender. I was also ruminating on the theme "Prayer at Rising" that had been given to the artists for the week. It's based on the prayer by Catherine Maclean. 

(From Catherine Maclean, crofter, Naast, Gairloch)

Bless to me, O God,
Each thing mine eye sees;
Bless to me, O God,
Each sound mine ear hears;
Bless to me, O God,
Each odour that goes to my nostrils
Bless to me, O God,
Each taste that goes to my lips;
Each note that goes to my song,
Each ray that guides my way,
Each thing that I pursue.
Each lure that tempts my will,
The zeal that seeks my living soul.
The Three that seek my heart,
The zeal that seeks my living soul,
The Three that seek my heart.

I was having a conversation with my friend Stephanie and we were talking about the body and pain. It's almost as if the body says, “well if you’re not going to cry, I’m going to cry for you.” All of a sudden there's a pain issue or a gut issue. Sometimes chronic pain is rooted in past trauma. The body never forgets even if we can't or won't remember. 

Stephanie then went on to add a line to Catherine's prayer,

"Bless to me, O God,  my body that speaks my pain when I can’t." 

Today was about having a dialogue with my body and emotions on a canvas. I want to bless my body even when I experience pain. What good does it do when I shut down my emotions from what's happening physically? I become disconnected from myself and then in turn less connected to those around me. 

A couple of years ago I would have called that woo-woo or shied away from the thought that my body would have much to say. But it's been crying out for a while and the kindest thing would be to give it space to tell me what it's been trying to communicate.